Watch this video And look at their faces Despite being Australian, the familiarity with our boys research is clear It’s what comes through when we hold space to listen, enough safety to explore and express This is, in many ways, is just one part of what we need to come together to tackle But it feels closer than ever, when I finally met the CEO of the Man Cave, Ben, yesterday here in Rio, who made this video Before heading to have conversations on male violence, caring manhood, men’s health engagement and men’s role in caregiving. There’s a reason that Male Allies UK work runs from 6 years old to 76 years old Listen to the mind of a 16 year old What really got you in this video?
I am a West Ham fan (for context). I just saw a video on Facebook of a big bald-headed man crying because West Ham had been relegated. I didn't dare look at the comments. If I'm honest, my first 5 second reaction was to laugh but, then I thought, at least he is touch with some emotions. We need to normalise all the emotions for everyone.
I wonder if it would help them to know that this reflects how I felt as a girl and the growth I feel as a woman? I think it would have helped me to know that others, whatever their gender, felt the same. It seems a very human experience, and that pressure and feeling of isolation as a young person is quite universal. Maybe growing up with two brothers of a similar age has helped me to understand that feelings, doubts, experiences and concerns are similar for both genders? Talking about our feelings and experiences is so important but so difficult as teenagers. That is why videos like this are so important.
The first day I worked as a coach in a men's prison, my first client told me he'd been told to 'man up' as a child. Then the next client told me the same thing. And the next. In fact, all four clients used the same words during their first session with me. It always stayed with me; how much, as children, they were robbed. And, when given a trusted space, how desperate they all were to have their vulnerability witnessed.
What strikes me is how visibly heavy those first messages felt for the men in this video, how this then moves to visible pain and sadness when we're hearing about the things we don't know young men are truly feeling and the release in these men's faces and bodies when we start to hear the authenticity of the manhood men want to create in these last messages. An extremely powerful and moving video.
As the mother of three boys, my biggest concern is how to counteract the dominant discourses around what it means to be a man. I see everyday wonderful men at dropoff to school, loving, caring, involved and wonder how do we make this what is celebrated. Thank you for this video.
What struck me most was the early messaging: none of which resonated with how I brought up my son. I don’t even know where that messaging comes from, certainly not from any source I am aware of. Totally outdated and out of place with anything I can relate to. 🤨
As a mother of 2 boys, watching this video broke my heart because it made me realise how much boys in particular have to deal with these days while navigating life’s challenges and finding their place in the world. Nd I’m glad to see a counter narrative is available to the so-called ‘manosphere’ discourse. This is such important work.
Beautiful! All these videos are making me cry and I have to deliver to a group in 10 minutes :)
What strikes me is that these thoughts reflect those of many mature men I know/speak to. And that's what makes me most sad: the fact that this narrative doesn't change much. We need to hold space for men at every age to say these things out loud. I want desperately for things to change for young men so they have a different future but we also need them to change RIGHT NOW for those adult men who were conditioned into silence by society and the responses they have had/fear when they do speak up.
Yeah it's everything feminists from the 60s said about gender stereotypes - we're still waiting to be listened to