Quote of the day by Kangana Ranaut: ‘What you do and what you are is more important than who you marry’

Trigger warning: This article mentions dowry deaths; reader discretion is advised.

For centuries, women have been sold the narrative that finding ‘the one’ is the ultimate milestone in life. From literature to pop culture, women have been taught that their lives are incomplete without a ‘soulmate’. They have been told that a magical person will arrive and make everything fall into place. Even today, society thinks a woman’s happiness is directly proportional to her relationship status. However, the recent dowry deaths in the nation tell a different story. When women are conditioned to pin all their hopes on marriage, the consequences can be devastating -both emotionally and, in tragic cases, fatally.
And that is exactly why Bollywood star and politician, Kangana Ranaut' words of wisdom stand relevant. “What you do and what you are is more important than who you marry,” she said earlier this year. She was emphasising the importance of women understanding their worth and building a future for themselves, independent of marital status.

In recent times, multiple deaths of young women, allegedly due to dowry harassment, have been reported across the nation. In May, following the deaths of two women, allegedly due to dowry-related harassment in the northern part of the country, Kangana Ranaut shared a message that every young woman should hear. In a note shared on her Instagram story, the BJP MP said, “So much tragic news about young married women comes up every day. Many of these young, educated women even beg their parents to help them out of their suffocating situations before tragedies strike, but Indian society is notorious for abandoning daughters once they are married.”

Kangana Ranaut’s message to young women is simple. She is not telling women not to marry. Rather, she is challenging the world romanticising the idea of marriage. “My advice to young women out there, which no social media or fashion, dating, wedding, or make-up industry is telling you: your career is more important than anyone else in your life. Think about marriage only after you are independent,” she said. This is not cynicism about love, but practical wisdom.
Kangana is talking about being your own hero, rather than waiting for someone to save you. That may happen in films, but not in real life. “Please, you have to be your own hero. No one is coming to save you. What you do and what you are is more important than who you marry. Build a life that you want; do not listen to anyone,” the actress said.

Money may not necessarily buy you happiness, but it can help you to make decisions. Financial independence is important for any human being, especially women. When you have a career, skills, and income that belong to you alone, you are not trapped. This financial freedom will help you leave toxic situations without a second thought. In this day and age, it is more important than ever to have financial security and independence.

You can have both a robust career and a beautiful marriage. Choose marriage as an addition to an already fulfilling life, not as a life raft for an incomplete one. Building your career is not about ignoring love or family. It is about understanding your worth and being your own person and hero. Your value, your worth, or your happiness should not depend on another person validating them.