How to Break Industry Norms as a Woman

🥊 “Jingjin, have you ever considered that women are just inferior to men?” That was her opening line. The lady who challenged me was not a traditionalist in pearls. She was one of the top investment bankers of her time, closed billion-dollar deals, led global teams, the kind of woman whose voice dropped ten degrees when money was on the line. And she meant it. “Back in my day, if I had to hire, I’d always go for the man. No pregnancy leave. No PMS. No emotional volatility. Just less… liability.” And she doesn’t believe in what I do. Helping women lead from a place of wholeness. Because to her, wholeness is a luxury. Winning requires neutrality. And neutrality means: be less female and suck it up! I’ve heard versions of this many times, and too often, from high-performing women who "made it" by suppressing. But facts are: 🧠 There are no consistent brain differences between men and women that explain men’s “logic” or women’s “emotions.” 💥 Hormones impact everyone. Men’s testosterone drops when they nurture. Women’s cortisol rises in toxic workplaces, not because they’re weak, but because they’re sane. 📉 What we call “meritocracy” is often a reward system for those who can perform like they have no body, no children, no cycles. None of those are biologically male traits. They’re artifacts of a system built around male lives. So, if you're a woman who's bought into this logic, here are some counter-strategies: 🛠 1. Study Systems Like You Studied Deals Dissect the incentives, norms, and bias loops of your workplace the same way you’d break down a P&L. Don’t internalize what’s structural. 🧭 2. Redefine Strategic Strengths Stop mirroring alpha aggression to prove you belong. Deep listening, self-regulation, and nuance reading, these are leadership assets, not soft skills. Use them ruthlessly. 💬 3. Name It, Don’t Numb It If your hormones impact you one day a month, say so, but also say what it doesn’t mean: It doesn’t cancel out 29 days of clarity, strategy, and execution. 🪩 4. Build Your Own Meritocracy Start investing in spaces, networks, and cultures where your wholeness isn’t penalized. If none exist, build them. 🧱 5. Deconstruct Before You Self-Doubt When you catch yourself thinking “maybe I’m not built for this,” pause. Ask: Whose rules am I trying to win by? Who benefits when I question myself? This post isn’t about defending women. We don’t need defending. It’s about calling out the internalised metrics we still use to measure ourselves. 👊 And choosing to rewrite them. What’s the most 'rational' reason you’ve heard for why women are a liability?

I built in factories where vendors wouldn't shake my hand. Today, the same industry invites me to "represent women founders." When I started The Sleep Company, I went to a Bombay exhibition to buy a 2100-ton injection moulding machine. Vendors wouldn't make eye contact with me. They couldn't process that a woman was walking up to buy industrial machinery. Most of the factories I visited didn't have a women's washroom. I'd ask, and they'd look at me like the question itself was strange. I'd push back, ask vendors what was wrong with their setup, and why there wasn't one. That was the industry I built TSC in. Six years later, the same industry invites me to panels titled "Women in Leadership", "Inspiring Woman Founders", and "Female Disruptors of D2C". I've stopped accepting most of them. Here's why I think these panels do more harm than good: →  They put women in a smaller room while the main one debates the actual business →  They reduce a founder's work to her gender →  They turn a serious operating decision into a "story of resilience." →  They make the next woman behind you settle for that smaller room, too I'll borrow Sheryl Sandberg's line: sit at the table. Don't ask for a separate one. Don't accept one setup just for you. Take the same seat that the men in the room are taking. I'm not anti-women. I'm anti-tokenism dressed up as a celebration. Build the company. Buy the machine they told you wasn't for you. Get into the room you weren't invited to. The "inspiring woman leader" label is the polite version of "not in the main room." Women founders, do you find these panels useful or limiting?

If you're in a male-dominated field, you've probably heard: “You have to work twice as hard.” But hard work alone isn't enough. Here's what actually helps you thrive 👇 1️⃣ Own your expertise, don't wait for validation. Many women hesitate to speak up until they feel 100% qualified. Men don't wait, they take space. 👉 Instead of saying: “I think this might work,” say: “Based on my experience, this is the best approach.” Confidence isn't about knowing everything, it's about backing what you do know. 2️⃣ Build a powerful inner circle. Success isn't a solo game. You need allies, not just colleagues. 👉 Find mentors who challenge you. Build relationships with decision-makers. Collaborate with women in your industry. Your circle shapes your opportunities. 3️⃣ Speak up even when it's uncomfortable. Being the only woman in the room can feel intimidating, but silence isn't an option. 👉 Prepare talking points before meetings. Challenge ideas with facts. If interrupted, reclaim your time: "Hold on, I’d love to finish my thought before we move on." Your voice isn’t optional. It’s necessary. 4️⃣ Negotiate without apologizing. Women tend to ask for opportunities. Men often expect them. It’s time to change that. 👉 Don’t say, “Would it be okay if I got a raise?” Say, “Based on my results, I’d like a pay adjustment.” You don’t owe gratitude for fair pay. You deserve it. 5️⃣ Turn bias into strategy. Reality check: bias exists. But you can make it work for you. 👉 If you’re underestimated, surprise them with results. If you’re labeled too ambitious, own it and deliver. If you’re not invited to the table, pull up your own chair. Let bias fuel your success, not block it. 6️⃣ Elevate other women. True success isn’t about thriving alone, it’s about opening doors for others. 👉 Recommend women for leadership roles. Acknowledge their ideas in meetings. Advocate for fair policies. When women support women, industries shift. ✨ Thriving isn’t about fitting in, it’s about standing strong in who you are and making space for others to rise with you. How do you make your voice heard? 💬 #WomenInLeadership #CareerGrowth #LeadershipDevelopment #Empowerment #CareerAdvice

Growing up, I was as often made to feel like I was “too much”; too loud, too big, too pushy, too needy, too EVERYTHING. And now, at 53, I realize that those old tapes (“tapes” is how you know I’m really 53) could either shrink me or grow me. I’ve decided that I’d rather be a force to be reckoned with than someone who shrinks to make others feel bigger or better. Being a force to be reckoned with isn’t about being intimidating. It’s about showing up as yourself with clarity, confidence, and conviction in a world that often rewards women for being accommodating above all else. Your (our) ideas deserve to be heard. Not squeezed in. Not prefaced with apologies. Not credited to someone who repeated them louder (and in a deeper voice). Being endlessly agreeable often means your priorities come last, your boundaries get trampled, and your career advancement stalls. And this doesn’t mean don’t be kind or caring or thoughtful or accommodating. It means doing any or all of those things without it coming at your expense. Here are some concrete ways to take up the space you’ve earned: 1. Own your expertise without qualifiers. Stop saying “just” or “I think maybe.” Try “Here’s what I recommend” or “Based on my experience, we should do this.” 2. Speak early in meetings. Contribute something in the first ten minutes. It establishes your presence and makes your later contributions land with more gravitas. 3. Stop doing office housework. Taking notes and organizing parties are invisible and unrewarded. Volunteer for high-visibility projects instead. 4. Negotiate like you’re worth it. Ask for salary, flexibility, resources, or respect with confidence. Practice this: “Given my track record with X, I’m looking for Y.” In my very first job out of grad school, I asked for more money AND more vacation time. They asked me to choose which one; I didn’t — and I got both. 5. Build strategic alliances. Cultivate relationships with people who can advocate for you when you’re not in the room. You don’t become a force by waiting until you feel ready. You become one by acting like you already are, even when your inner voice (those TAPES) doubts you. Confidence isn’t a prerequisite; it’s a byproduct. You’re not being difficult. You’re being someone who knows her worth and isn’t afraid to act accordingly. #womenleaders #confidence #genderequity Image from @fucktology

Can you #inpsireinclusion if you are invisible at work? The theme for International Women's Month is Inspire Inclusion and since Friday LinkedIn has been flooded with posts from women, IWD events, conferences etc. But what happens at the end of March? While there are structural and institutional dynamics that prevent the inclusion of women in the corporate arena, there are also personal choices we make as women that ultimately, though perhaps unintentionally, lead to our exclusion. Here are a few and what we can do about it going forward 1. Eliminate the vicious cycle of self doubt, impostor syndrome and invisibility- the more we doubt our expertise, feel unworthy or ‘lucky’ to be in the positions we hold, the less likely we are to show up, powerfully. As women we are constantly in the ‘prove our worth’, space with our heads buried in work. But buried things dont get seen and are automatically excluded. Instead let us own the spaces we are in and show up for ourselves and other women who need to see us to know it is possible. 2. Understand networking isn't a dirty word- I’ve yet to find a successful female leader who doesn't have a powerful network of strategic sponsors, mentors, allies and a high level board of advisors. It doesn't happen overnight but we all need people to succeed. Having the right people around you who are aware of the phenomenal work you do is key for inclusion. 3. Amplify the voices of other women- We must strategically amplify the voices of women at all levels. From meetings, kitchen cabinet conversations right to the Boardroom and not only in March. Give women you know the kudos they deserve. Amplify her ideas in meetings, put her forward for speaking engagements, dont count her out because she has a young family. Notice and publicly reward deserving women, especially those who find it difficult to self advocate. 4. Build your self advocacy muscle- No one can talk about the work you do like you. Why? You have a unique combination of skills, experience and expertise. Even if a specific topic has been discussed multiple times, you can still add a level of nuance to the conversation. We must advocate for ourselves, tell people about the opportunities we need, throw our hat in the ring and not be afraid to share what we know in the spaces that matter. This is how we can build inclusion for ourselves and others. 5. Show up as female leaders- As women we underestimate the role we play as signposts for younger women. When I was at a career crossroads, I found women, both near and far, who helped me navigate my own career decisions. I am eternally grateful that they were visible and authentic with their stories of life and career. If the theme #inspireinclusion will have any lasting impact beyond March 31st, you and I will need to continue to show up and include ourselves while also creating spaces for the women that come after us. What other ways can we continue to #inspireinclusion beyond 2024 #IWD2024

Many women negotiate million-dollar deals. Then avoid negotiating their own salary. I've seen women confidently defend budgets. Lead complex projects. Influence executive decisions. Yet freeze when the conversation turns to: "My compensation." Somewhere along the way, many women learned: Advocating for the business is professional. Advocating for themselves is uncomfortable. That belief is expensive. If you've ever struggled to ask for more, start here: 📍 1. Stop negotiating from effort → Don't lead with how hard you work. → Lead with outcomes. → Quantify results wherever possible. Businesses reward impact. Not effort alone. 📍 2. Keep a running value file → Revenue generated → Costs reduced → Projects delivered → Customer wins → Positive feedback Don't scramble for proof when review season arrives. Collect it all year. 📍 3. Research before you negotiate → Check salary benchmarks. → Speak to recruiters. → Review industry reports. Confidence grows when numbers back your ask. 📍 4. Practice saying your number Many women haven't actually said it aloud. → State your desired salary. → Repeat it until it feels normal. → Remove the emotion from the number. Comfort comes from repetition. 📍 5. Replace apologies with pauses Don't say: ❌ "Sorry, but..." ❌ "This might be too much..." Instead: → State your case. → Stop talking. → Let the silence do some work. 📍 6. Create a 'brag document' Yes, really. Add: → Achievements → Promotions → Testimonials → Results Your memory forgets. Your document won't. 📍 7. Schedule a value review every quarter Ask yourself: → What value did I create? → What new skills did I gain? → Does my compensation reflect that? Don't wait years to ask the question. 📍 8. Separate self-worth from net worth Your salary is not your value. But it is a signal. And if that signal hasn't changed in years, it's worth asking why. 📍 9. Normalize talking about money Talk about: → Investing → Compensation → Wealth building → Negotiation The less taboo money becomes, the better decisions you'll make around it. Women don't need more confidence before asking. They need more evidence. More preparation. And more practice having conversations they've been taught to avoid. What's one thing about salary negotiations that nobody taught you? 📍 If you recognise yourself here and want a private space to work through it with women who get it — that's what The Executive Edge is for. June intake. DM me 'EDGE'.

I hate to say this, but the idea of a man genuinely championing a woman's success, without caveat or condition, is still far too rare in today’s world. Women are often viewed through a different lens: called "emotional" for showing passion, or "incapable" of making tough decisions. Because of this, deals and opportunities are quietly redirected. Equality in opportunity remains far from a reality. Women often have to work harder and prove themselves more rigorously to earn what is freely given to their male counterparts. As a woman in a male-dominated world, I have experienced this many times. But the thing that got me over it is when I stopped trying to win their approval. I realized I was in an environment that wouldn't change for me. I had to build my own boat instead of fighting the current. First, I focused on the one thing they couldn't argue with: inarguable metrics. I became obsessed with my performance, my P&L, my track record. The numbers were my shield and my sword. I learned to speak the universal language of data. Then, I started building my independent power base. I didn't rely solely on the opportunities given to me. I focused on my network and public reputation, building assets that were mine regardless of anyone's opinion. Finally, I formed strategic alliances. I sought out other high-performers, men and women, who were driven by results, not politics. We became each other’s personal board of directors, actively championing each other's work. Moral of the story: If you find yourself in a place where your voice isn't heard and your success isn't celebrated, stop trying to convince them. It's not your job to change their minds. It's your job to build a position so strong that their opinion no longer matters. What is one action you've taken to build your own "boat" in your career? #WomenInLeadership #CareerStrategy #Success #Motivation

I am the first female entrepreneur in my family, and building my interior design business has transformed me. Here are 3 essential lessons for female founders. 👩💼 1st – Create boundaries while staying warm. 🌟 In this industry, I work daily with clients, contractors, vendors, and site workers. Most of them are men. Being friendly helps, but friendliness should never come at the cost of respect. It does not mean allowing someone to speak to you with one hand on your shoulder. At the same time, some people may hesitate because they are not used to working with a female designer. Your job is to make them comfortable and be warm while creating clear boundaries. 2nd – Take your work seriously, even if others don’t at first. 💖 Many people will treat your business like a hobby before they see it as a profession. Instead of arguing, focus on consistency. Show up prepared. Deliver high quality. Stay committed. When you treat your work seriously, others eventually do too. 3rd – Your perspective is your power. 💪 As women, we understand homes differently. We think about functionality, comfort, and daily usage. I design keeping practicality in mind because I have seen what it takes to run a home. That insight helps me create spaces that truly work. And it builds trust, especially with female clients. Building a business as a woman is not always easy. But it shapes you into someone stronger than you imagined.

Breaking Ground: What I’ve Learned as a Woman in Agribusiness When I first entered the world of agribusiness, I was often the only woman in the room—and sometimes, the only one under 40. It was intimidating, yes. But also exhilarating. Agriculture isn’t just about crops and cattle. It’s about negotiation, risk-taking, technology adoption, and policy influence. It’s also about legacy—both inherited and created. And for young women, navigating this terrain means carving out a space where your voice not only matters, but leads. Here are a few lessons I’ve learned along the way: 1. Let expertise lead. In this industry, credibility comes from knowledge. Know your markets, your data, your supply chain. Don’t wait for permission to speak—own your seat at the table. 2. Build a strong network. Mentors, collaborators, and even competitors will shape your path. Surround yourself with people who challenge and champion you. And pay it forward when you can. 3. Resilience isn’t optional—it’s a habit. From unpredictable weather to unpredictable markets, agribusiness teaches you resilience like nothing else. And for women, resilience also means dealing with bias and breaking molds—again and again. 4. Your perspective is a strategic advantage. Women bring fresh thinking, empathy, and community connection—qualities that drive real change. Don’t downplay them. They’re what this industry needs. To young women stepping into agribusiness: this space is evolving, and your voice is vital. Be bold, be curious, and most importantly—stay rooted in purpose. Let’s keep growing—together. #WomenInAgri #Leadership #AgriBusiness #WomenInBusiness #LinkedInVoices

"Speak up, but watch your tone."  "Be assertive, but smile while doing it."  “Stand your ground, but make sure to be likable." Ladies, sound familiar? 🤨 In honor of #womenshistorymonth, I want to explore this theme. These contradictory expectations create a maddening tightrope that women in business must walk daily. While men are often rewarded for assertive behavior as being "passionate," women exhibiting identical behaviors are labeled "emotional" or worse. 🎾 Remember Serena Williams at the 2018 U.S. Open? When challenging the umpire's call, she was penalized a game - something rarely seen in Grand Slam matches. Meanwhile, tennis "bad boys" McEnroe and Connors reminded us they'd done far worse without comparable consequences. Let's talk about what's really happening: 👉🏻 Gender stereotypes prescribe men to be dominating, while expecting women to be warm and nurturing, even in competitive or leadership roles. When women breach these stereotypes, they face what researchers call an "assertiveness penalty." A 2008 study revealed that "men received a boost in perceived status after expressing anger," while "women were accorded lower status, lower wages, and seen as less competent." So how do women navigate this unfair landscape? 1. Understand your communication style through assessments like DISC or Myers-Briggs 2. Master your triggers - that "amygdala hijack" that can derail conversations 3. Frame your statements - "Because I feel strongly about (patient safety), I'm going to speak very directly" 4. Cultivate allies who can step in to support To all women who have been called "aggressive" when being honest and direct: You probably weren't. The other person might have been intimidated. 💡You deserve to shine your light, even if it casts a big shadow. ⚡Correction: The world needs you to shine your light. Period. What has helped you find your voice in spaces designed to silence it? #womenleaders #genderbias #communicationskills #professionaladvice #doublestandards #serenawilliams